It’s been a while since I’ve been able to post something on here. So I guess I’d like to dedicate this first post for 2019 to my mom’s youngest sister and my dearest “Ninang” (which is the tagalog term for godmother).
If you’re wondering why I’m dedicating this entry to her memory? It’s because her birthday (June 29) is fast approaching and I’ve realised that it still hasn’t been any easier for me.
We’ve lost her due to complications brought about by her diabetes back in 2016. It has always been hard for me to open this topic up without shedding a tear.
You see, I grew up being very close to her. She used to work as an educator in Taiwan while I was studying in the Philippines. Every chance I would get to visit her, I would even sleep next to her or at least in the same room with her. She was very warm and loving, but she also had her tough moments. You would’ve been able to see it when she was defending her loved ones.
Going back to that frightful night on the 2nd day of September, she was in the hospital for about 24 hours. I was there when she had passed on. They tried to save her but she still went into the light. I was devastated, to say the least. I lost a mother figure in my life. I literally did not know what to do and I felt I didn’t know how to live my life without her.
Despite me being used to her not always being around, it was a different feeling knowing that she was alive and in another country. This time, when I want to hear her voice, it’s impossible to just give her a call.
Years have passed and I thought it would get easier. As it turns out, its doesn’t. I miss her more and more as each day passes. I may forget the thought at times, but the “void” in my heart is still there. The only thing that gets me by when it’s one of those days and it gets tough, is when I talk to her in my heart.
If you believe in life after death, which I do, I think that she’s happy wherever she is and I hope that she can still hear me. I hope she still knows how much I love and miss her and I would not want anything more than to know that she’s finally at peace.